I often work with clients who have overpurchased clothing and linens over the years and have difficulty with parting with them. Some have bought items during the pandemic due to fear that they will not be able to get this product again. Some have bought them because they are feeling depressed, and the shopping cheers them up (temporarily). Some have bought because they don’t want to give up the hope that their past lifestyle will resume. Whatever the reason we are now working together because they realize that they are overwhelmed with too much stuff.
After working with these clients for a long time most of them do stop overbuying but still have difficulty with letting enough go of what they already have.
Some techniques that have helped:
· Work slowly
Marathon sessions only overwhelm them, and they will shut down entirely.
· Sort like with like
Stay within the zone you are working in (bedroom or laundry for example) and sort all pants into one pile. Make a similar stack of tops, towels, spreads, socks, etc. I usually work at the beginning of the project with only items that are out on the floor or on top of a surface.
· Encourage letting some items go immediately to a donation site
I usually will take those with me when I leave. I like to encourage conversation about how some items look to be too short or a bad cut or not a good color or need special care. At the same time, we talk about how some items really look right for that person. I don’t want the conversation to be all negative. I encourage them to let go of excesses of the current season clothing like winter sweaters or jackets because someone will really need them now.
· Work on a plan for deciding how much of each category to keep.
How many of these items would you need before you did laundry? Can we use just this drawer for socks and this drawer for sleepwear? You can keep as many as you want if they will fit in that space. Where can we store items that you are not currently wearing but want to shop from at a later time? Most of my clients work best by using the container method (i.e. keep as many as you want if they will fit into this container/drawer/shelf).
· Talk about the why
Why did you buy this item? Is the reason still a valid one or has your lifestyle changed? Do you need more than one or two of this type of outfit now in your life (i.e. the dress to wear to a wedding or fancy-dress event or the presentation suit)?
· Encourage a handy storage for items kept for a later time
When setting up storage for items that they are not going to be wearing for some time but just want to keep for a later date, encourage them to have that storage within the house (not a storage unit or attic) and put a date on their calendar a year from now to revisit those items. Most of my clients will forget about items stored out of sight unless they have a plan in place to look at them again.
· Put a date on the calendar to try on items that may not work
Set up a schedule to try on items that may or may not fit. Work on one category at a time (i.e. before our next session try on these pants).
· Take pictures as you go
People forget how cluttered the space was before they started working. Even if an area is not cleared, they can tell that the stack is lower. They can see how things are sorted.
· Celebrate the wins
Look how much extra floor space you have now! See how much easier it will be to clean here! You deserve a break this evening with a favorite beverage and a good book or TV series.
This is a difficult exercise for clients. They may feel shame or feel defensive. Take breaks as needed. Remind them of all of their wins both current and in the past. Tell them that they can do this and that you are there to support them. Have them revisit the end vision they are wanting to achieve. Be their cheering section.
If you have an organizational project that is going nowhere and you feel stuck, stop thinking about what is wrong and concentrate on what you can do to make some changes. Could reorganizing your space make a difference instead of shoving it into a closet or under your bed?
If you want some assistance on your project join Diane Quintina and me for one of our support groups. We can help you with next steps to complete your project.
Jonda S. Beattie, Professional Organizer owner of Time Space Organization, and co-owner of Release, Repurpose, Reorganize. She is based in the Metro-Atlanta area. As presenter, award-winning author, as well as a retired special education teacher she uses her listening skills, problem solving skills, knowledge of different learning techniques, ADHD specialty, and paper management skills to help clients tackle the toughest organizational issues. Jonda does hands on organizing and virtual organizing. For more of Jonda’s tips connect with her on Facebook.
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